"Thankful" and "single" in the same sentence??? Yes. I realize though, that those two words in the same sentence are not offensive ONLY if you are, at once, the author and audience of the statement. If a married person says it to you, your friendship is over. If a single person says it to you, you have to wonder if they ever hit puberty. The only time this phrase will not inspire violence is if it is a product of self-realization. That said, I've had many moments of said self-realization, and as a result, have compiled the list below of why I'm thankful to be single:
- Reason #1 Express
- Reason #2 Victoria's Secret (this one is probably first place on the opposite list)
- Reason #3 Ulta
- Reason #4 DSW
- Reason #5 Walmart (yes, Walmart. I walked in intending to spend $10 and walked out with $95 on my receipt. I think the cashier gave me the wrong receipt, but I won't call their customer service hotline to report her. This time.)
- Reason #5 Target (I have to choose my check-out lines carefully)
I'm sure you're starting to see a pattern here. I think God has given me this time of singleness to get all my retail therapy needs out of my system. By the time I'm married, I won't need to shop as much. Ha..haha...hahahahhahahah. Good one.
N
